He claims to never have been sunburned, and it’s a battle to get him to use sunscreen. I suspect its use only occurs when he has a witness. Nor will he wear a wide-brimmed gardening hat. A baseball hat’s all that will do. The result is his first ever Farmer’s Tan.
When I saw him sporting this new look I asked him if he’d seen the back of his head in a mirror. He said
Yes, I know – it’s monkey brains!
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom apparently made a big impression on him.
I’ve always known this as a Farmer’s Tan, but the monkey brains description is so very apt. It inspired me to do a Google search on both topics.
There were 14,000,000 hits for Farmer Tan. I found a song by that name and a tanning salon named Farmer’s Tan. Mostly, I found picture after picture of tans. My favorite was a fellow who wore his baseball hat backwards and had a spectacular, horizontal “D” masterfully tanned in the center of his forehead.
Monkey Brains only brought 2,210,000 hits. Although I found not one reference to a tan line, I did find a band named Chilled Monkey Brains, and Monkey Brains hair gel. That’s certainly something Himself doesn’t need.
There are also many recipes for monkey brains available on the ‘net. You can find real recipes for real monkey brains and recipes for fake monkey-brain cakes. I came across one heartening article from ibtimes.com titled China Cracks Down on Monkey Brain and Other Wild Animal Delicacies. Did you know that as of December 2012, monkey meat went for $41 per pound and monkey brains for $112?
One of my mother’s stand-by meals when I was a kid was round steak and onions. She’d tenderize and chicken-fry the meat, caramelize a skillet of onions, and serve it all up with a vegetable and gravy. My siblings and I wouldn’t touch it with a 10-foot pole until my Aunt Suzy convinced us it was monkey meat and onions. Rotten kids…
But, I digress. I really think Monkey Brains is a perfect description of my husband’s new look, although the Farmer’s Tan has a very long, and honorable history.
Which do you think is best?